LIFE TAKES A TURN...
I had a checkup about 1 ½ years ago and my doctor did spend some extra time in the general location but moved on raising no real concern. I wish I could have known then. I have done some self examinations while standing up in the shower. That is all I remember hearing - That my lump was undetectable standing up. I can only find it lying down. It is also so deep that it is very hidden adding to the reasons why it has been “missed.” Once I noticed what I initially called “dense tissue” I was alarmed although I thought it would be a plugged duct or cyst. I never would have guessed.
I made my appointment which was two days later.
Throughout the next two days I became more and more worried as I realized what I felt was a lump and it was very large. I went to my appointment and saw the 2 masses on their ultrasound. My doctor asked to make appointments for a mammogram and ultrasound ASAP and I was more alarmed. I was afraid and upset. I had not told anyone as I initially thought it would be nothing. The nurse called the hospital for the earliest appointment which was 1 week out. She then told them the size of the mass and they got me in that afternoon at 1:00 just one hour later! When I left she hugged me and cried. “Oh $%@#!” was all I could think. When the nurse cries that’s got to be bad.
I drove to my ultrasound appointment and Rick met me there. I also called everyone else before that appointment as it was time to let them know that this was serious. I went to the ultrasound first and 2 cute little nurses asked a ton of questions and then disappeared to get the doctor. He came in and looked and said, “this doesn’t look good.” Then, to get a better picture of the situation, I had a mammogram. I had never done anything like any of this before. I knew I was turning 35 next month and was still not required to have a mammogram. Age doesn’t matter! The mammogram showed everything. 2 masses and the Radiologist was sure they were cancer. Rick and I were not given time to even catch our breath before the MRI and biopsy were scheduled. We then left the office and fell to pieces.
My mom had called and Rick gave her the news. We had to get ourselves home to my mom’s house. Everyone was being called and gathering there. We were beside ourselves. So much to take in and think about and still so much we did not know. We spent the weekend being together as a big family. We packed and moved our little family into my brother Randall’s basement. Life has a cruel way of bringing you back to reality. We had to move out of our rental home by the 30th and our new home was not scheduled to be completed for another 2-3 weeks. We completed out move that weekend before any impending testing and surgery.
It has been very wonderful, comforting, and helpful to be surrounded by my family and not be “alone” during this hard time.
Love
Shauna
