We went to chemo today a little unsure if they would give it or not as I have come down with another nasty cold. They still did it! My fever was difficult to break on Tuesday night initially but I have some aggressive antibiotics and I am feeling better for today. Tomorrow I will go and get the last of the Neulasta shots and then suffer through the next week and hopefully be done with the hardest parts of chemo. We truly never know what to expect but we are definately hopeful. My Doctor couldn't have been more positive and enthusiastic about my response to the chemo. He said I was tough (even though I feel sort of wimpy right now) and that I have responded so well he expects great results from my surgery and lymph node dissections. We are still so amazed, relieved and above all very thankful!
So, at this point everything is still on schedule and will more than likely keep my surgery on schedule for Feb 18. They can always give me another Neulasta shot if blood counts are down! (I will be so mad if that happens!)
We are still going to be "hermits" for a little bit longer to make sure I can be as healthy as possible for surgery. I love all of your emails and can't begin to tell you how they lift my spirits! I am so thankful for everything everyone is doing and have done for us. We have such a long list of family and friends serving us it's so humbling and over-whelming for Rick and I to watch as so many family and friends do everything imaginable to see us through. There are so many things people have offered to do and we really appreciate it. We have been touched beyond words by the sweet things people have offered on our behalf and the constant requests to do more. If you could bottle up some energy for me that's what I really need!! LOL
Thank you to everyone for sticking with us on this. It is definately a long road to recovery! We love you! Shauna
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
I am stonger than nails... but not chemo!
I wrote the last update before my 5th treatment and boy what a difference a little chemo makes! This one started out bad when we got to the Dr. all my counts were down except 1. I was surprised by that but soon found out what it meant when I got the 5th treatment with low blood counts, "WOW!: that was awful. I have my 3rd kidney infection and my kidneys have decided on their own to refuse to continue metabolizing insulin for the rest of my body (basically). The nurse described it as insulin pouring out before it can be grabbed so my blood sugar was too low. I have been very miserable since my treatment but have done much better today, Jan 14th. I have been in contact with the Dr. and the sugar should level out by this weekend in time for something else I am sure. They speculated yesterday when they checked my counts that they would recover enough to have the last treatment ontime which is good because I want it over so badly! This is one awful roller-coaster ride and I would like to get off!
I am going to see a surgeon today and will get a surgery date which I keep referring to as a "goal" because my counts will have to be recovered for surgery so there is some chance it will be delayed.
Anyway, we took the kids to Build-A-Bear before my last treatment so they could make something to snuggle while I am in the hospital for surgery! It was fun and important for me that we do something like that to help them as much as we can. Rick is another story, he is officially a mess! I keep telling him not to worry and he looks at me like, "have you seen yourself lately?" LOL Yes, I have and it's a mess, so for now we have agreed to pretend to be normal however he did not yet agree to stop worrying! LOL
I don't think I have been saying this enough but I was reminded today that everyone's focus should be on doing their self exams and getting mammograms regularly if you are suspicious or of age! My RS Pres. and Stake RS Pres. came and visited today and a ward member went in after being reminded by my diagnosis and they found a lump in each breast. She has had her surgery and begins radiation shortly, she did not have to do chemo BECAUSE SHE FOUND THEM VERY EARLY!!! I am going to have a girl party as soon as I feel like I can and we are going to learn together how to properly do exams and learn that it need not be embarassing or shameful to do your own exam, it could save your life!! Please do it!
One more Chemo to go!! Thanks so much to our family, friends and ward for taking incredible care of us! I am so thankful! Love-Shauna
I am going to see a surgeon today and will get a surgery date which I keep referring to as a "goal" because my counts will have to be recovered for surgery so there is some chance it will be delayed.
Anyway, we took the kids to Build-A-Bear before my last treatment so they could make something to snuggle while I am in the hospital for surgery! It was fun and important for me that we do something like that to help them as much as we can. Rick is another story, he is officially a mess! I keep telling him not to worry and he looks at me like, "have you seen yourself lately?" LOL Yes, I have and it's a mess, so for now we have agreed to pretend to be normal however he did not yet agree to stop worrying! LOL
I don't think I have been saying this enough but I was reminded today that everyone's focus should be on doing their self exams and getting mammograms regularly if you are suspicious or of age! My RS Pres. and Stake RS Pres. came and visited today and a ward member went in after being reminded by my diagnosis and they found a lump in each breast. She has had her surgery and begins radiation shortly, she did not have to do chemo BECAUSE SHE FOUND THEM VERY EARLY!!! I am going to have a girl party as soon as I feel like I can and we are going to learn together how to properly do exams and learn that it need not be embarassing or shameful to do your own exam, it could save your life!! Please do it!
One more Chemo to go!! Thanks so much to our family, friends and ward for taking incredible care of us! I am so thankful! Love-Shauna
Monday, January 05, 2009
Chemo #5
I can't believe we are to this point already. Thursday will be my 5th Chemo. I have been feeling really good the last few days, and surprised to have some energy and to have so many "good" days! I really appreciate the continued support via email, text messages, visits, etc. Everything my family, neighbors and friends send really boost my spirits and I am finding that lifting spirits is a huge part of healing. This is such a long process that it's hard for people to understand how long it takes to be clear of it and I appreciate the way you have all hung in there with me because it won't be complete until OCTOBER, can you believe that? We will get there no matter what.
Some neighbors who have gone through cancer treatments with their daughter (among many other trials) brought us this quote and I thought it was good for anyone in any difficult situation: "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we endure is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure especially when we endure it patiently, builds our characters, purifies our hearts, and expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God, and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation that we gain the education that we came here to acquire." - Orson Whitney
I think this is a great reminder why we go through all the trials of life large or small and the people you will meet as a result. I have this quote on my night stand so every day I can remember why I am doing all this hard stuff and those who are going through it with me. None of us can choose our trials but these words make it easier to keep focused on each task and the end goal.
My kids are doing fairly well, each day that I feel good is a day they can forget for a minute. It's sobering to hear your child pray that your cancer will go away, "cancer" is a word that children shouldn't have to speak. Megan asked me, "when are you going to feel better, mommy?" She stressed the "when." It's a very long time for all of us especially a 4 year old. It's amazing the people who enter into your life right when you need them, a neighbor who is a speach pathologist just happened to visit and was able to give us some good advice and help us relax about Isaac's stuttering which began right when I was diagnosed. It's one more thing we can allow some time to see how/if it works itself out. None of this is easy for anyone. We are all in "survival" mode so anything that can be fixed with patience is most likely to be made worse until we can locate some patience. When we find it we will let you all know where! LOL
The Race for the Cure in Salt Lake is May 9, 2009 and is a 5K (from what I can find.) I will be walking it, Rick will be running with the kids in the jogging stroller. As soon as sign-ups are available I will get a team set up so everyone can register with the team. I am so excited for this one, I will be about 6 weeks from reconstructive surgery at that point and should be finished or almost finished with radiation. I will be so close to the end of the bad stuff. I hope everyone is healthy and doing self breast exams at the very least! (Aunt Kathy!) Take care and I write again after #5.
Much Love-Shauna
Some neighbors who have gone through cancer treatments with their daughter (among many other trials) brought us this quote and I thought it was good for anyone in any difficult situation: "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we endure is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure especially when we endure it patiently, builds our characters, purifies our hearts, and expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God, and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation that we gain the education that we came here to acquire." - Orson Whitney
I think this is a great reminder why we go through all the trials of life large or small and the people you will meet as a result. I have this quote on my night stand so every day I can remember why I am doing all this hard stuff and those who are going through it with me. None of us can choose our trials but these words make it easier to keep focused on each task and the end goal.
My kids are doing fairly well, each day that I feel good is a day they can forget for a minute. It's sobering to hear your child pray that your cancer will go away, "cancer" is a word that children shouldn't have to speak. Megan asked me, "when are you going to feel better, mommy?" She stressed the "when." It's a very long time for all of us especially a 4 year old. It's amazing the people who enter into your life right when you need them, a neighbor who is a speach pathologist just happened to visit and was able to give us some good advice and help us relax about Isaac's stuttering which began right when I was diagnosed. It's one more thing we can allow some time to see how/if it works itself out. None of this is easy for anyone. We are all in "survival" mode so anything that can be fixed with patience is most likely to be made worse until we can locate some patience. When we find it we will let you all know where! LOL
The Race for the Cure in Salt Lake is May 9, 2009 and is a 5K (from what I can find.) I will be walking it, Rick will be running with the kids in the jogging stroller. As soon as sign-ups are available I will get a team set up so everyone can register with the team. I am so excited for this one, I will be about 6 weeks from reconstructive surgery at that point and should be finished or almost finished with radiation. I will be so close to the end of the bad stuff. I hope everyone is healthy and doing self breast exams at the very least! (Aunt Kathy!) Take care and I write again after #5.
Much Love-Shauna
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
December 24,2008
I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday. I had another rough time right after my chemo but I think I am re-bouding nicely. I hate to jinx it but I feel good today! I remember waking up at 2:00 in the morning yesterday and thinking, "I finally don't feel nauseated!" That was a really good moment. Anyway, we continue to get great news and comments from the Doctor each time we go and that is so encouraging. I know what I have to do to get my body free of this and I am very focused but it is really nice to think that some day I will be able to be through with it. I cry sometimes when I talk about the next 2 chemo's, and yes, they are that bad. But atleast this part of treatment will be over and I can focus on the surgery and radiation. My surgery will be around the 15th -20th of February and radiation begins shortly after. My hair should start to grow back sometime in March!!!! There should be a party for that!
We always strike conversations with the people around us at chemo as most people are very willing to share. We met a guy at chemo who was telling us about his radiation on his chin and neck. We hadn't talked about what type of cancer we each had but I found myself asking about his radiation experience. He mentioned how during the last 3 weeks it's normal for the skin to feel burnt right after. He enjoyed driving home with his head hanging out the window to get the cool breeze on his skin. I said, "well, that is a great suggestion but I have breast cancer!!." You have to laugh, even while you are at chemo! Don't worry, I'll just take ice packs with me!
Anyway, we continue to be brought to thankful tears by our incredible ward. They are so amazing. Everything we could possibly be over burdened with has been taken care of and then some. There are so many people to be thanked (with my chemo brain I can't even start naming them), but we are thankful for all of the service that comes our way each night in our family prayers. Please know that we are thankful for you all. I hope you have a Merry Christmas! Don't eat too much because we are doing the Race for the Cure in May!!!! (More details to follow.)
Much Love- Shauna
We always strike conversations with the people around us at chemo as most people are very willing to share. We met a guy at chemo who was telling us about his radiation on his chin and neck. We hadn't talked about what type of cancer we each had but I found myself asking about his radiation experience. He mentioned how during the last 3 weeks it's normal for the skin to feel burnt right after. He enjoyed driving home with his head hanging out the window to get the cool breeze on his skin. I said, "well, that is a great suggestion but I have breast cancer!!." You have to laugh, even while you are at chemo! Don't worry, I'll just take ice packs with me!
Anyway, we continue to be brought to thankful tears by our incredible ward. They are so amazing. Everything we could possibly be over burdened with has been taken care of and then some. There are so many people to be thanked (with my chemo brain I can't even start naming them), but we are thankful for all of the service that comes our way each night in our family prayers. Please know that we are thankful for you all. I hope you have a Merry Christmas! Don't eat too much because we are doing the Race for the Cure in May!!!! (More details to follow.)
Much Love- Shauna
Sunday, December 14, 2008
December 14, 2008
Hi everyone-
So this time has been harder and I am just not getting back to "normal" like I have the last 2 times. I would rather get a root canal, IRS audit, or yearly exam instead of Chemo on Thursday. I definately don't feel ready for this one, I am sure it's normal at this point because it's nasty stuff. I haven't had as much nausea as I thought but all the other aches, pains, inability to heal from even the smallest paper cut, etc. are more than enough. Truthfully, I can't decide which is worse, the chemo or the menopause the chemo has put me into. (The menopause was a little more than I expected.) I am thankful for the outcome I am having so I am trying to endure all of it but it is so easy to whine about the extensive list of ailments. I don't know if it's possible to get any better news than we got last time we saw the Dr. I expect through the last 3 treatments to just have lot's of "side-effects."
After Thursday I will have 2 more treatments to go, so I have to keep looking forward to the finish line which now seems within my reach. I never thought I would say this but I am looking forward to radiation.
I have had so much pressure removed from me by my incredible ward. This week I hit what is probably one of many low points and had to ask for help. Within 10 minutes of my phone call I had meals, a loving place for my kids to play and people coming to clean. It was one of many humbling days as I watched these sweet neighbors do all the things that I pride myself in doing each day for my family. All I can say is they continue to be so amazing! I was very worried that the length of time until recovery would eventually scare off just about everyone around us but it hasn't even a little bit. I am so thankful for all the prayers, loving service, and help for our family. What a great time of your to reflect on the "angels" who have and will continue attending to our needs, the healing hands of the Lord and the love we have been surrounded with.
Much Love- Shauna
So this time has been harder and I am just not getting back to "normal" like I have the last 2 times. I would rather get a root canal, IRS audit, or yearly exam instead of Chemo on Thursday. I definately don't feel ready for this one, I am sure it's normal at this point because it's nasty stuff. I haven't had as much nausea as I thought but all the other aches, pains, inability to heal from even the smallest paper cut, etc. are more than enough. Truthfully, I can't decide which is worse, the chemo or the menopause the chemo has put me into. (The menopause was a little more than I expected.) I am thankful for the outcome I am having so I am trying to endure all of it but it is so easy to whine about the extensive list of ailments. I don't know if it's possible to get any better news than we got last time we saw the Dr. I expect through the last 3 treatments to just have lot's of "side-effects."
After Thursday I will have 2 more treatments to go, so I have to keep looking forward to the finish line which now seems within my reach. I never thought I would say this but I am looking forward to radiation.
I have had so much pressure removed from me by my incredible ward. This week I hit what is probably one of many low points and had to ask for help. Within 10 minutes of my phone call I had meals, a loving place for my kids to play and people coming to clean. It was one of many humbling days as I watched these sweet neighbors do all the things that I pride myself in doing each day for my family. All I can say is they continue to be so amazing! I was very worried that the length of time until recovery would eventually scare off just about everyone around us but it hasn't even a little bit. I am so thankful for all the prayers, loving service, and help for our family. What a great time of your to reflect on the "angels" who have and will continue attending to our needs, the healing hands of the Lord and the love we have been surrounded with.
Much Love- Shauna
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
After another cold and a kidney infection I finally feel like I am
coming out of the worst after my 3rd treatment. It wasn't any harder except for the kidney thing which probably means I am just not able to fight as well, and OK maybe it was harder!!! LOL I don't know how common kidney infections are but the Dr. wasn't surprised. I was a little because I am drinking alot! Also, at my last visit my tumor was undetectable!!!! I then asked what my chances are of getting clear margins at surgery and he said "excellent!!" Just to give perspective, there are 3 categories I could have fallen in. 1- 40% who have it shrink and be undectable (upon examination), 2- 40% who have shrinkage, 3- 20% have no change. I was really hoping to have atleast some shrinkage but have somehow been blessed and have fallen into the category I was afraid to hope for! It is undetectable. I can't describe the emotion of all of that. We spend time at chemo with so many who are not having a good outcome and I cry many times for them. I have been so blessed! I am having one of those experiences that I just can't describe yet because it's not over. But if I could tell you about each and every little blessing it would really amount to something amazing! My friend, Debbie Black, said this would be my greatest gift. (I love her but initially I thought she was "nuts!") Even though it is so hard and awful and will be for a long time, I have already learned she is right! Every day is a gift for me. I have not given deep thought to people actually facing life or death with their health (for a long time anyway) and to say they live differently is an understatement. So far, I am thankful for the chance to live a more meaningful life.
Thank you for your prayers, thoughts, and best wishes, keep sending them! My next treatment is Dec. 18.
Much Love-Shauna
coming out of the worst after my 3rd treatment. It wasn't any harder except for the kidney thing which probably means I am just not able to fight as well, and OK maybe it was harder!!! LOL I don't know how common kidney infections are but the Dr. wasn't surprised. I was a little because I am drinking alot! Also, at my last visit my tumor was undetectable!!!! I then asked what my chances are of getting clear margins at surgery and he said "excellent!!" Just to give perspective, there are 3 categories I could have fallen in. 1- 40% who have it shrink and be undectable (upon examination), 2- 40% who have shrinkage, 3- 20% have no change. I was really hoping to have atleast some shrinkage but have somehow been blessed and have fallen into the category I was afraid to hope for! It is undetectable. I can't describe the emotion of all of that. We spend time at chemo with so many who are not having a good outcome and I cry many times for them. I have been so blessed! I am having one of those experiences that I just can't describe yet because it's not over. But if I could tell you about each and every little blessing it would really amount to something amazing! My friend, Debbie Black, said this would be my greatest gift. (I love her but initially I thought she was "nuts!") Even though it is so hard and awful and will be for a long time, I have already learned she is right! Every day is a gift for me. I have not given deep thought to people actually facing life or death with their health (for a long time anyway) and to say they live differently is an understatement. So far, I am thankful for the chance to live a more meaningful life.
Thank you for your prayers, thoughts, and best wishes, keep sending them! My next treatment is Dec. 18.
Much Love-Shauna
Monday, November 24, 2008
November 26, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving!
We are spending today at chemo, (yuck) we also get to come back tomorrow for the shot! Oh well, we are getting it over with. I will be half way after this one which is a great milestone. I have been feeling really good this whole time other than those first few days and have got almost all of my Christmas shopping done, decorating done, and even seen Santa with the kids. Rick and I also went to dinner! We have been normal and I am so glad to have had the ability to do almost all the things I normally do. I am not trying to be tough or keep up appearances at all, I am really feeling well almost all of the time. If it hits me now it won't seem like such a long time even though it is still quite a while. We are prepared for the worst and still hope for the best. We have so many people to be thankful for and for so many things right now, especially the help with the kids. They are our biggest priority and we love it when they are loved by someone watching them during the times we can't be there. They have really enjoyed every home they have gone to. That is such a weight taken off of us. Everyone around us (adults and kids) have contributed so much to making this easier and with all of our hearts we are soooo grateful! I appreciate every prayer and every time my name is added to the temple. It is so incredible to have so many people include you in their thoughts and prayers, we are forever thankful!
Love-
Shauna
We are spending today at chemo, (yuck) we also get to come back tomorrow for the shot! Oh well, we are getting it over with. I will be half way after this one which is a great milestone. I have been feeling really good this whole time other than those first few days and have got almost all of my Christmas shopping done, decorating done, and even seen Santa with the kids. Rick and I also went to dinner! We have been normal and I am so glad to have had the ability to do almost all the things I normally do. I am not trying to be tough or keep up appearances at all, I am really feeling well almost all of the time. If it hits me now it won't seem like such a long time even though it is still quite a while. We are prepared for the worst and still hope for the best. We have so many people to be thankful for and for so many things right now, especially the help with the kids. They are our biggest priority and we love it when they are loved by someone watching them during the times we can't be there. They have really enjoyed every home they have gone to. That is such a weight taken off of us. Everyone around us (adults and kids) have contributed so much to making this easier and with all of our hearts we are soooo grateful! I appreciate every prayer and every time my name is added to the temple. It is so incredible to have so many people include you in their thoughts and prayers, we are forever thankful!
Love-
Shauna
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